Thanks for everyones comments the other day with my post hatred, I can see that there are lots of varied views. I don't think that people should hold back here in fear of upsetting anyone, this is the whole point of a blog to express yourself, no?

I've been thinking a while now about arranged marriages, not the forced ones which girls (and boys actually) are made to marry against their will, but when parents, friends and relatives seek to find another a husband/wife. I have very mixed feelings about this topic, I can really see both sides to it. My marriage to C was not arranged, we met fell in love etc.... but I have a confession, my marriage to C is not my first, I was married before. I was very young, only 17 in fact when my parents told me that a cousin wanted to marry me, and that he was a nice guy blah blah blah. I was young, and naive, and growing up in britain as a teenager was tough, we weren't allowed boyfriends, and all my friends were well into the dating scene. So I agreed. The catch is that he lives in Canada, but I headed out there.

So from my experience of arranged marriages, I realised very quickly I had nothing in common with this man. He had massive problems in his life, he always thought that he should never be alive and was certain he would die before he was 30. Looking back now, he had chronic depression and from the news feeds I get about him, he still does. I just started university, where I have to say I started to mix with all walks of life and my personality started to change. I came across as a very strong minded woman (which my father knew) and thats why he thought I would be a good match with this guy, he was very weak, and "needed a strong woman to prop him up". I guess I wasn't having any of that, so in less than a year I packed my bags and went home. I enrolled myself at uni in the UK, and the rest is history. So from my experience, I swore never to go through that again....

However, my sister went through the arranged marriage way. She went to university, got a job, and never met anyone she wanted to marry. So my parents did the same again, and I guess shes happy. In addition to that, I have many female friends (35+) totally aware that their biological clocks are ticking and are desperate to find someone to father their children. I guess in these situations, I can see how an arranged marriage is something that will help these women. I think that with an arranged marriage you have to go into it with a special frame of mind, never to expect the passion or the intense feeling of being in love. Its a contract, a sort of "you do me a favour and I'll do you one" kind of situation of two people wanting to start a family and to have some companionship.

To conclude my little story, my divorce from my first husband saw the gradual decline of my relationship with my parents. They see it that I brought shame onto the family by divorcing a relative. I blame my father for setting me up with someone I had nothing in common with, and whilst I was so young. But nothing really deteriorated our relationship more than my marriage to C, but thats another story for another day.