But names do hurt. God, do I curse the idiot who came up with that. Names do hurt and they actually do more damage in the long run than sticks and stones do. Today is one of those days that I have just had enough. I have really tried to be positive and let it all wash over me, but theres something about a constant whinging in your ear that makes me just crack. No, don’t worry I haven’t done anything stupid again like the vacuum flask incident, I have just kept my mouth shut. But I have not made his dinner in protest, if there is something that my little N will have to learn is that respect is not automatic, its earned.

But what makes these relationships abusive? How comes millions of couples live together in harmony (well with minor arguments) and others like myself suffer through abusive relationships? I know that I shouldn’t be believing this, but there is an element that makes me think that perhaps its me. Why do I put up with it? How do I learn to draw a line and make my point to C that this behaviour of his is unacceptable? Or is he beyond reason and logic? Is it me, I am just a sucker for this kind of behaviour. Is the only way not to get bullied is to be a bully yourself? I just can’t do that, my heart is too soft to put someone else through this misery. What must change?

I just can’t believe that in all my years of finding a partner do spend the rest of my life with, I have chosen such a nasty and evil person do share that life with? I can’t believe that he loves me, and yet I stay with him, surely then there must be something wrong with me? I think I am quite successful in my life, but my marriage is a shambles. Or are all muslim men like this, total and utter plonkers!!! (muslim men, speak up…)