Its been a while since I last wrote, and with a naughty crawling baby, its been hell finding time getting onto the computer. I finally met with a woman from womens aid last friday. I have to admit, I had to sneak out whilst C was in the mosque, and I was expectin to see a battered old hag who herself suffered domestic abuse. In fact, I was quite surprised, instead I was met with a very lovely and pretty blonde lady, who seemed to know just what kind of a man C was. After a lovely cup of tea (half of which ended up on my jumper thanks to N), I left with lots to think about. I was quite impressed that she even knew about islam and had read the quran in english herself and was aware of the cultural differences. She said I had no option, nothing will change unless C admits he is wrong and seeks help, or I leave. Thats quite a daunting task. She also said that if its hard now, if I left it will be harder, C would never forgive me for leaving him, and he would make my life misery.
After that, I decided to go to the GP and talk to her about it. SHe suggested I try relate, an organisation that deals with relationship problems, and at £40 an hour, they better be good. I feel that we need to see someone together so he can say what he feels is the problem and so can I, and we can come to some sort of compromise, because I am certainly not arrogant enough to belive its all him and I am the perfect angel. The vacuum flask incident was out of order, even after provokation, I should never have let him do that to me, and I should never have lashed out....
In anycase, we have talked - alot, and we feel its better for N that we stay as a family and stop arguing. The first step is the name calling will have to stop. He said that he will do that if I start to respect him more, I said respect is earned and he would have to first proove that he stopped the name calling. Lets see how it goes, it could improve only for the short term, and things may slip back, or things could improve from now on, its difficult to judge.
