Well since going to womens aid, theres one thing thats changed, and thats me. I decided I will no longer allow C to be nasty to me, if he dishes it out then he has to get it back, and I've been answering back at every opportunity.

I guess a big part of the problem (and it has gotten worse since N was born) is that myself and C are home together all day. Although when a couple marry they live together, but I do think that a little bit of absence is good for the relationship. Well, I am on maternity leave and so home with the baby all day, and C, well hes still studying, the PhD that has been going on for 8 years now.....

But my answering back has forced him to talk a little more than usual to me (just a little) and he did make a plea to me that touched my heart. I know that our life is difficult, but I think its very difficult for me as I don't only have to do the housework, care for the baby, make food etc, but I have to work and provide for us all, and that pressure is quite intense. He did say he appreciated the fact that I am supporting his studies and he asked me to just wait a little longer until he finishes his PhD and our lives will drastically improve. I am a real sucker, I am not the hard hearted woman I sometimes make myself out to be, but it made me think of our wedding vows to each other. Through better and worse, and this is the worse. Am I too hasty? Should I stick it through and things will get better, or am I just too optomistic. THe lady from womens aid seems to think that I am.....

I hate stereotypes. I hate the media. I hate the fact that women are always portrayed as evil scheming bitches, or weak and influencable creatures, or cheating whores on tv. I mean, just look around on almost every tv channel, women are often the weak ones having affairs, or the ones to mess up a story line. So I don't really blame many men for thinking that women are pathetic creatures. And I hate that.

Theres no convincing C that women are normal human beings, in his eyes women are the nastier race and thats why men are around, to make sure they get up to no wrong. Ofcourse, he assumes that all affairs are the womens fault (we're only men is his excuse) and women always mess it up. I guess when we are portrayed like that on tv, then I don't blame him for thinking that. I think there is not enough positive female role models on tv, and true representations of what women are. But then again, a sensible boff does not make good tv!

I've never blogged about Maddie McCann, but I do quite often think of this little girl and whatever became of her. It just fascinates me how the parents have had this media circus around them, first the media hated them, and now in every paper I come across its the total opposite and they are sympathetic. It just amazes me how the media can turn like that with a little persuasion, and how that can influence public opinion...

But I like to think that I am more of an independent thinker than that. I just think something fishy is going on there with the maddie case, and I do think that the parents are hiding something. I am not sure if they were involved in her disappearance, but I have that gut feeling that they know something they are not letting on.

I know the portuageese police are incompetent, but to disappear like that without a trace... hmmm. ANd if it was part of a big ring of kidnappers, then why not take the young twins, surely they are worth more because they are small and are unlikley to remember anything, instead of taking maddie who is alot older. Just me silly thoughts...