well its the first day of ramadan today. For those who don't know, we as muslims have to fast once a year for 30 days. Basically, no food or drink from sunrise to sunset. I am really feeling the strain with only half an hour to go and I am really tempted to eat N's half eaten banana, but must resist.... it will make me a better person.
Apart from that, C came over on sunday again to see N. This time, for some reason, he really behaved himself, no shouting, no arguing, no name calling. It was so much bearable. BUT I get suspicious when hes nice like that, so need to be on my guard. He left this morning, and its back to N and me. I think the separation for the time being will be good for us, I still can't make a decision what I want. Its very hard, after all hes done, I should be telling him to get lost, but I can't. Its too complex for even me to explain.
But apart from that, its funny how I started this blog to vent out my feelings and how much water has passed under the bridge now.
