I've been away for a while, I know that, and I'm sorry. Life is taking over again, and its very hard to manage on my own. With a sick child as its that time of year. With little sleep due to sick child. And with managing the growing demands of work...
However, in the evening when I sit down to eat my dinner, I flick through the tv channels and I came across a story line in eastenders that I find both disturbing and intruiging. FOr those who haven't the foggiest, its about a man who is in a supposedly loving relationship with a woman, but is only really with her because he is sleeping with her underage daughter. So it follows how manipulative this man is towards the daughter and how he is grooming her. I think its great they are highlighting this, but, it makes me think. Firstly, the behaviour of the character Tony (the paedophile) is quite like C, very manipulative. But then I start thinking more about my future without C, and how I would be in another relationship, and in particular the saftey of N. I know not all men are paedophiles, but why should I put N through that heartache of being raised by another man, and for me to take the risk that he might hurt, or touch her in some ways..... I can't think about it, and thats why I always believed my relationhsip with C is the last one. Perhaps its all early days yet and I feel quite bitter about the whole ordeal, but its impossible for me to think that I can move on
